Wednesday, 29 May 2013

A5: S9 - Pining for the Past Yet So Eager For The Future

I don't really have any clue as to why, but ever since I was younger, I've always had a fascination with melting candles into the top of wine bottles.

It's probably some subconscious thing which wove itself into my mind from watching things like Lady and the Tramp as a child, but I've always thought it to be one of the most beautiful-looking things. Simple, rustic, and the way the light glows behind the green glass as the bottles are stacked in front of one another... it's magical.

I've amassed quite the collection, and my job in an Italian restaurant means I get to collect some spectacular looking ones. I even got given a 1960's Woolworths vodka bottle by a dear friend of mine, which  now sits proudly on my desk.

Tonight, I lit them for the first in a very long time, and even before I caught a whiff of the vanilla fragrance, I knew what it would do to me.

Sunday, 26 May 2013

A5: S8 - Lessons From The Moon

The spirit of The Annual Fire Purge was infectious, and tonight, next door invited me over again as they'd acquired quite a bit of firewood and kindling since the festivities of the night before.

I grabbed anything remotely flammable that was left in the house, a few boxes, some old dead flowers that had been in a vase on my windowsill, a Domino's pizza box.

For four hours we watched, again captivated by the fire, until just three of us remained, and we sat back and looked up into the nights sky as the dancing amber embers swirled above us, mingling with the silver pinprick stars.

There was a full moon. We all gazed up into it, silently.

Saturday, 25 May 2013

A5: S7 - The Annual Fire Purge

It's a weird time of year.

All classes are finished, and due to the Summer Ball being anything more than lacklustre, with nothing else for them here, 80% of the population have vanished back to their home counties, leaving the place a ghost town.

It's also rapidly approaching the day in which we have to move out.

This means tackling the monumental task of sifting through all the memories, hard work and  paraphernalia that have accumulated over a whole year's worth of living, and deciding what is worth bringing back home, and what just doesn't quite make the cut.

I've always been a hoarder, I suppose.

Because I've always built phases around my life, so as to remember with clarity the things which are important to me, I've always collected things that serve as memory queues. Flyers, napkins, posters, business cards, dried flowers. And anything with any form of associated memory, I've never been able to throw away.

That's why, before I came to University, I promised myself that at the end of every year, I'd have a massive purge, and be ruthless with these decisions. I don't want to be the same person as I was the year before, clutching at memories of long-stale friendships and incredible nights I don't ever want to forget, dragging forward the same problems and troubles. Pardon the melodrama, but I'd rather start over each year with absolutely nothing, and see what I can go forth to create from there.

But just 'throwing away' doesn't feel like a good enough fate for some of the memories. It may seem a little drastic, but the only real catharsis I can get from laying these memories to rest, is to watch them burn.

Wednesday, 22 May 2013

A5: S6 - A Haunting Awakening

So, this happened a few weeks ago, but I've been putting off talking or writing anything about it...

Partly out of... well, fear, I guess, and partly because I wandered whether it would be insensitive to do so. However, when it comes to matter such as these, I've concluded that if it makes me want to write, then I shall write it, and in doing so, preserve the utmost anonymity and protection for those involved.

For this evening, and what it held... However much I need to, I find it hard to write about. I think it's because of how hard I find it to process it in my mind.

Because what happened this night will stay with me until the day I die.

Thursday, 16 May 2013

A5: S5 - Life & Love are the same thing

Love, life, loss, and why we are meant to move on.

*

Ariella is in full gleaming supernova mode at the moment.

And I can fully understand why.

Ariella, the bright and bold young aspiring actress, has just had some very exciting news, of which, unforunately, I can divulge none of.

Anyway, yesterday Ariella called because she was having a contact lens fitting in Radlett, a town not too far from me at University, and she asked if I was around.  

Saturday, 11 May 2013

A5: S4 - Why you should date yourself

So my Mother and sister came up to visit last weekend, and in our usual custom, we went to the glorious St Albans Waffle House, which if you're ever in the Hertfordshire area, you simply MUST visit.

This time, fortunately, they did not come bearing bad news (The Waffle House seems to be our family go-to for emotional crises) and conversation wandered idly between this new diet my sister was trying, and how our cousins are doing. Then it inevitably wondered over to relationships.

Wednesday, 8 May 2013

A5: S3 - This American Life

So in my pursuits to start living a more fulfilled and happier life over the summer months, I have, surprisingly, stuck to my resolutions so far. I started one of the books I'd stolen from Marcus and... finished it. In the space of about an hour and a half, I read the entire book, and my sweet god, I think it changed my life.

But just as I was planning a post about this book, something else came out of the blue at me randomly.


Tuesday, 7 May 2013

A5: S2 - 10 Things to make time for in May

'With University finished for the year (HALLELUJAH) I can now truly grasp hold of my summer and live the hell out of it!'

*Two days later and all I've done is watch two seasons of That's So Raven in bed with nachos and tea*

So, apparently I have this genuinely rare and amazing talent called 'procrastinating'. It's ridiculous, I've got to a point where I genuinely even procrastinate from doing things that I enjoy doing. A bit like when I force myself not to listen to music I know that I'll like.

So I've decided, to put a stop to my laziness and actually start making the most of this 5 months of freedom, I'm going to pick 10 things which I am going to go out of my way to make time for, in the month of May.

Friday, 3 May 2013

Act Five : Scene One - May

It's May already.

....Which means I'm on Month 5/10.

Officially half way there.

That's more than a little bit exciting/terrifying/awesome.

Firstly, apologies for being a bit absent of late - I've been desperately trying to scrounge together and finish my second year at University which I can gladly say I have FINALLY done. Woopee!

I am now free to enjoy the summer, work hard, adventure, and fill my days with endless blogging, writing, dreaming and just being happy. It's strange, I always think I belong to the Winter, right up until the first rays of summer sunshine touch my cheeks and I realise just how wrong I could've been.