To say I feel as though I'm 'going through a transition' at the moment seems like a bit of an understatement.
I've seen it before and I'll experience it a million times more I'm sure. It's just I seem incapable of staying the same person for too long. I guess I'm the queen of the identity crisis.
But this post isn't about that.
I mentioned in my last post that to be frank, my constant feelings of unfounded inadequacy are actually starting to really fuck me off, and I think that's the best thing that could be happening to me right now. The true problem would be if I felt little to no inclination to do anything to help myself. But I do, and I will.
I think what I need right now, is something to take my mind off it. A little indulgence in my favourite kind of therapy; writing.
Through little choice of my own, I am a born and bred wordsmith - some take solace in numbers and mathematics, for others, they find sanctuary in solid logic and science, others find it in the grace of God.
For me, it always has and always will be words.
And I frustrate myself beyond my own recognition when I let myself become blind to that, wander off into the depths of my own sorrow and languish dramatically in wallowing, when I know that simply putting fingertips to keyboard or pen to paper makes me feel inexorably better.
So I had a little idea, inspired by watching the movie 'Ruby Sparks' about a mentally insecure writer, crippled by his own success and plagued by his own talents, who seeks therapy to help him rediscover his inspiration and passion for writing after becoming an overnight sensation.
I would say 'rings a bell' but let's not lie and say that wouldn't be outlandishly arrogant, ha.
Anyway, to help cure his writers block, his therapist encourages him to write something, anything every single day, and if he simply cannot find anything to write about, write about his frustrations of not being able to write.
And so I've decided to expand upon that idea a little, and open it's doors to my readers too.
For the 30 days of September, I am going to write every single day, and post it on here.
This isn't going to be self-reflexive musing that I do on here, it's going to be what I love more than anything, pure, refined, sensory-rich FICTION.
The 30 things I am going to write about, is up to you guys.
This may work, this may not, I'm sure if I get a pittance of a response I'll be able to come up with 30 things to fill the spaces, but somehow I think it'll be lovely if I could write things for you, a gift as such.
So I'm opening up my Tumblr Inbox or you can email me firstname.lastname@example.org, or even just comment below if you have something you'd like me to write, and the brief is limitless. Give me a location, time frame and setting and I can write you a romantic date between you and your celebrity crush, give me 5 random words off the top of your head and I'll use my imagination to weave them into a tale, send me a piece of music and I'll write what it makes me see - be creative, be imaginative and I'll do my best to do you justice.
As I said, this might result in a splendorous collection or a glorious failure - THAT is up to you guys. (No presh of course)
So if you fancy, take a little moment to come up with an idea and shoot me a message. Don't forget to add your name and twitter handle so I can let you know when I've published your creation. If you send me your address I'll also post you a hand-written version of your tale.
I'm going to choose to be optimistic here and say that I think this could be beautiful, and there's nothing more I love than to get you guys involved in things. Because truly, I owe everything to you.
Let's create something beautiful.