Tuesday, 30 December 2014

The Greatest Lesson of 2014: A Letter To My Best Friends

Hi, my name is Katie, I have suffered from depression since I was sixteen, 

And I am okay. 

I have know times of not okay, I have known times of a hell of a lot more than just not okay, but it is with a full heart and the help of some medicine, I can say I am now, okay.

And that's a really beautiful state to be in for more reasons than one.

Monday, 15 December 2014

The Curious Double Life of an Avid Dreamer

"Where... Where did you get this, Ma'am?" 

I'm lying flat on the grass propped up on my elbows beside the car I've just been ejected from. The Police officer stood on the opposite side of the car gestures toward the smooth black pebble the size of my fist, sat on the back seat. 

Before I can answer, she frantically grabs her radio calling for backup. 

"Oh god, oh god, oh god...." She murmurs.

I scramble to my feet as she leans in and kicks the pebble out of the door nearest me. 

"Go!" She screams as the pebble splits open the moment it touches the grass. 

Wednesday, 10 December 2014

The Power of Reading & the Human Wordsmith

"A writer is not someone who writes because they want to. A writer is someone who writes because they have to."

I can't remember when or where I first came across this quote, but it is one that has stuck with me for a very long time.

And the more I think about it, the more it makes sense to me.

At first of course, it sounded preposterous - I've spent my fair share at school and uni 'having to write' stuff and I've hated every second of it. What I enjoyed was writing what I wanted to write. 

But that was never just it. It wasn't something I dipped into every now and again to make up a story to pass the time or live out my greatest fantasies. Because looking back at the teetering mountains of notebooks, scrapbooks and folders of endless scrawls and rants that have remained my faithful companions since I was very small, I realise:

That luxury of choice was never mine.

Thursday, 4 December 2014

How to Not Completely Lose Your Shit as an Online Creator

I think one of the biggest things I've come to realise from my years of blogging, is that:

Choosing the life of an online content creator is not to be taken light-heartedly.

As a person of the internet, not only do you have to be on your A-game and working pretty much 24 hours a day (or schedule your content to post as you sleep), you constantly have the pressure to be relevant, you serve yourself on a silver platter for untold amounts of abuse, trolling and anon hate mail, and you're pretty much signing yourself up to be professionally deluded about reality.

Tuesday, 2 December 2014

Winter Nights & Fairy Lights

Dear sweet lord, I love winter.

There's something about the perpetual darkness, the icy air which erupts in plumes with every word and the sombre hibernation of the world that I just adore. 

But... then each and every year without fail, I look outside at the darkening skies of 2pm, feel the harsh bite of the cold against my chattering cheeks, or find myself falling privy to the annual sadness that comes with lack of sunshine, I think to myself, why in god's name do I constantly think I love this?

This year I figured it out.

Saturday, 29 November 2014

The Struggle of Being a Writer in a Bloggers World

It's always hard to see someone else doing incredibly well, at something you've always wanted to do incredibly well in.

It's an unavoidably human reaction, one which is usually followed by equally unwelcome guilt when you actually see how nice that person is, and how hard they've worked to get there.

But you know, I've come to think that the world would just be a better place, if we all started to be a bit more honest about envy.

Tuesday, 25 November 2014

Scarphelia x H&M: A Year Draws In

She crossed her arms and pulled her mink faux fur coat tighter around her shoulders at the invading chill which swirled about her body and pinched at her skin, as she thrust open the fire escape door to the roof. The plumes of winter air bought with it small flurries of white, as the bowing winter sky finally relinquished it's long overdue haul of snowflakes.

The rings on her fingers sparkled and dazzled against the ice-cold railings, reflecting the string of incandescent fairy lights above her head and mimicking the rows of amber-lit windows on the streets below. The city had never looked more beautiful.

Monday, 17 November 2014

The Blind Pig Cider Launch

Our shadows crept out from our footsteps as they echoed across the worn cobblestones of the twilit street.

"Are we here?" Flossie said quietly by my side.

We paused to survey the scene, bathed in the orange glow of the streetlamps and sprinkled with a sheen of light drizzle. The street was deserted aside from the singular misshapen silhouette of a couple huddled beneath a disobedient umbrella a little further in the distance.

A sharp staccato burst of laughter erupted from a nearby doorway which caught our attention. We wandered down to locate the source, before finding ourselves outside a shifty-looking butchers.

Saturday, 8 November 2014

Bloggers, Millenials & the Future of Our World

As predictable as the sun, the way day becomes night, my days of darkness follow my days of light.

But when stillness comes and my demons are slain, the light will come for me again.

Melodrama aside, I often cannot escape my despair for humanity.

Whether the constant barrage of disaster and dismay from the press, or witnessing first hand the way some treat each other, treat animals and nature, treat the world, sometimes it overwhelms me to a point where I feel physically sick. 

One of the most profound things I have come to realise recently;

There will never be peace on earth.

Thursday, 6 November 2014

Little Victories

Yesterday morning I woke early, yawned profusely, and went downstairs to make myself a cup of coffee. I flicked on the kettle then jumped at the discovery of a giant bumblebee sat on my windowsill. 

I leaned in, unable to tell if it was alive or dead. 

I blew a little air on it and its feelers gave a little twitch in response.

Monday, 3 November 2014

The Song of Silver Speaks

Forever remain curious, refuse to remain unremarkable. 

That phrase which fell upon my mind one cold winters eve, words which rained down upon me in an incoherent medley only to somehow form in a truth at the forefront of my mind - today I hear them sing louder than ever.

The world suddenly made sense to me, the universe and all it's dwellers and inhabitants, all of it suddenly made sense. I had a choice. I have a choice.

Saturday, 1 November 2014

The Inescapable Mourning of Days of Past

Do you ever get that feeling,

Where you're going about your daily life, a string of daily preoccupations and errands keeping you busy,

When all of a sudden, the whisper of a half-forgotten song playing in a shop you walk past, the smell of someone's perfume next to you on the tube, that old dress you dig out the bottom of your wardrobe... 

One small little cue enters your immediacy and suddenly your whole soul is assaulted with a specific memory which comes flooding back to you in a raging, uncontrollable torrent. And like a sucker punch to the gut, you inhale sharply with the brute force of your sudden mourning, not for the people, not for the place, but for a whole sphere of time in your life that once was?

He'd been in my dream.

Monday, 27 October 2014

The Relationship Between The Blogosphere & Mental Health: We Need To Talk.

Here's a little true story for you.

When I was a kid, I was never afraid of spiders. I didn't get it. Everyone would always freak out about them but I never understood why. To me, there was nothing to be afraid of, they were tiny, infrequently seen and essentially harmless. But everyone I knew, loathed them. After so long watching my sister, mum and friends screaming when they saw a spider, I found myself jumping up when I saw one scuttling my way. Because unbeknownst to me, these people who I trusted, respected and loved were more influential than I could imagine. Then I began screaming too. It soon developed into a genuine, debilitating phobia, and to this day I have a crippling fear of the bastards. 

And when you look at that, it's kind of scary in itself.

The blogging world is rife with talk of mental illness right now. As someone who has suffered and also spoken openly about my experiences, it's quite comforting thing to see how people have dealt with and overcome this, and how some people have been leading examples of how it really does get better.

But on the other hand, it worries me deeply.

Scarphelia x H&M - Halloween

Saturday, 25 October 2014

The Subtle Derailment of Leading a Double Life

“Sometimes, I feel the past and the future pressing so hard on either side that there's no room for the present at all.”

Evelyn Waugh, Brideshead Revisited

It has recently become apparent to me that I have become jammed in a very exhausting and frustrating position, which I'd be a liar to say didn't carry some beauty to it. 

I find myself torn, stuck between two incredibly crucial points of my life, neither of which I can embrace without consequence upon the other. As I am stood, my left arm is being tugged forth, yearning to dive headlong into the dream-like ethereal future I know I can embrace, but my right arm remains shackled, bound to my earthly commitments and responsibilities which I have accumulated on my path. 

In short, I lead a double life.

Sunday, 19 October 2014

The Only Piece of Advice You Will Ever Need

Herein lies the greatest piece of advice I have ever received, I could ever give, and I am firm in the belief I will ever need in life.

And boy oh boy is it kinda messed up.

The birth of this great wisdom came, of all places, from the labyrinthine depths of stumbleupon on a day like any other. This idea dwelled within an article discussing 10 Philosophical theories that were supposedly meant to blow your mind. 

I'd say I found my brain gently jostled at best, but one of the ideas truly stood out to me among the others has stayed with me since that moment, lurking in the back of my mind and over time has formulated to become what I like to believe is the greatest piece of reassurance in the universe.

Sunday, 5 October 2014

1 Million Hits


So... god, wow.

Where do I begin on this.

I began writing this with the mind that I'd list all the amazing things that have happened in the past year a half, all the wonderful experiences and opportunities and coincidences which have lead me to this point, in the hopes to inspire others to take that chance and start fighting for their dreams.

But I don't need to, or really want to. 

Hell there's near two years worth of blog posts to show all that.

Besides there's something a hell of a lot more important going on here than a thinly disguised series of humblebrags stitched together with a genuine sense of overwhelming gratitude could ever do justice too.

Let's go back to the start.

Saturday, 4 October 2014

Well, It's About Time

As it's coming up to my birthday, (THREE DAYS) I guess I've been thinking about the idea of 'time' a lot.

Suffice it to say, I'm really, kinda, totally not up for no longer being 21.

 It doesn't matter how many times you sing it Taylor Swift, you're not convincing anyone it's super awesome to turn 22.

21 is the golden year, where you finally become an adult, where you're finally free to take the world into your own hands and define your fate. Everyone is so amazed by what you achieve when you're 21, it's all 'But you're so young!' and 'Wow you're so mature for your age!'.

To me, turning 22 is like this great hangover from the vibrant, kaleidoscopic montage of childhood birthdays with goodie bags and bouncy castles, and teen parties with cheap wine and kissing the guy you've fancied for ages, which climaxes in that one great explosion of 21, to which you then wake up the next birthday with a sore head, a dry-mouthed sense of responsibility for your life, and the haunting realisation that your next big birthday is *gulp* 30.

Wednesday, 1 October 2014

Pictures That Tell a Thousand Words

So today I have a super exciting project to share with you!

As I guess you've pretty much figured out by now, there's nothing more in the world I love more than storytelling. Whether it's listening or writing, admiring or creating, I feel like the essence of storytelling runs through my veins - it's almost as though my entire life revolving around the principle of it.

To me, it's simply magic.

Thursday, 25 September 2014

When You Fight For Your Dream & Win

As a firm believer in taking life by the horns and living the hell out of it, it's sometimes incredibly hard not to sound completely full of it. 

It's such a fine line to tread between being empowering and being patronising, because we've all grown up with fairy princesses and teeny bopper bands telling us to Reach for the stars! Just be yourself! Make your dreams come true!

But what does that actually mean in reality?

Tuesday, 23 September 2014

Learning To Let Yourself Be Saved

I like to think that 20 years from now, I can look back at my life and regard the 17th September 2014 as the day my life changed forever.

What begun as any ordinary day and finished as little more, turned unexpectedly into the day in which I learnt one of the most profound lessons of my life so far, the day that the ignorance I had been clinging to for so long was gently prised from my fingertips and I finally faced the music I'd been persistently shunning.

The 17th September 2014 was the day I realised there are times in life where you simply have to let other people in, so they can help you, to help yourself.


Sunday, 21 September 2014

Scarphelia x H&M DIVIDED: Back To School

Cape - H&M*

There's something truly magical about Autumn.

With the remnants of an Indian summer trickling through into golden afternoons and candlelit garden parties which stretch way into the wee hours, the twinklings of a morning chill signify an introduction of thick cosy jumpers, cascading layers and humble earthy tones to match the delicately curling leaves as they begin their annual departure from the season.

Wednesday, 17 September 2014

2am Truths As The Universe Sighs

I have these moments sometimes. 

Moments when I feel this little niggling tingle in my chest, when I find myself easily distracted away from trivial things and overly cynical about the people who partake in them.

And so I turn off all the lights, I put in my headphones, I turn the volume up on full and I listen to a playlist I have on spotify called 'Gravel Fingernails' - (it's a Synesthete thing.)

And at that moment, I know those songs are able to penetrate a very deep layer of my mind, and I go a bit strange. I often cry, I often have my head in my hands or fists clenched tight, sometimes I even get a little out of breath, because it brings forth to the surface some of the most astounding epiphanies I could never otherwise access. The music itself is able to delve deep into my soul, extract a series of thoughts and observations, and string them together upon this logical thread of truth which is tugged through to my conscious mind and I just suddenly understand.

Monday, 15 September 2014

Best In Male Street Style - LFW SS15


So I have just returned from my first ever proper stint at LFW, and my god... what an experience it was.

But I'll get to that later.

So whilst I get working on all my reports, blog posts and articles, I thought I'd share some of the street style fashion I managed to snap along the way. In the coverage of London Fashion Week, I find we are always bombarded with the same kinds of media - bloggers styling their best, street style snaps of the quirky and beautiful girls out in force at Somerset House - but one thing I've always noticed is lacking is any coverage of male fashion.