Tuesday 16 February 2016

The Problem With Loneliness

The problem with loneliness, is that no-one likes to hear that they're not enough. 

You can't tell a friend, because they'll feel instantly inadequate. 

You can't tell a stranger, for they'll fear it's contagious. 

The problem with loneliness is that it's something nobody wants to hear, yet you so desperately need to be heard. An unwelcome truth we sacrifice our sanities to avoid confessing. 

The problem with loneliness is that seeing more people and doing more things is not the cure. In a room of ten thousand, no man is more alone. 

It is so little to do with how many friends you actually have. Instead, the deepest most important part of your soul becomes isolated and calcified, no longer able to move with the fluidity and freedom it previously used to dance with the souls of others.

Yet you become more susceptible and vulnerable than ever to art. Music, film and poetry are granted a direct channel through to the heart of this more emotionally volatile version of you, further mutating your being into something far removed from being convincingly human. 

The problem with loneliness, is that home extends no further than the place you lay your head and a plug socket near the bed.

Towns and cities just mean coffee shops by day and wine bars by night, sat in the window with a book as the rain leaves a light condensation on the inside of the glass, your eyes reading the same sentence over and over again, believing the answer would undoubtedly lie in a sudden tap on the shoulder which never comes.

The problem with loneliness in that independence seems an antonym, yet they are perfect partners of the cruellest kind. Just because you remain capable of flying solo, it doesn't mean you always want to.

No experience on earth isn't improved tenfold by being shared.

A lone wolf still howls at the moon to hear the call of his brethren. 

It's just now the echo falls on deaf ears.

But the biggest problem remains the greatest virtue of loneliness; 

you can never unacknowledge it.

Once you've realised you are a lonely person, conversation and connection become the most valuable currency. An experience shared among people that just get you the greatest gift you could ever receive. Catching the eye of a like-minded soul glimmering half-obscured amongst the bustling crowds something close to divine.

But until then, it just takes a little time battling through the storm clouds to get there.