So, before I fully launch Scarphelia in the New Year, I have decided in the last few days of 2012 I'm going to do a summary of how I came to create this blog, why I created this blog, what is going to be in it and what I aim to achieve by it. This will lead up to the chime of 2013 and my New Years Resolution which is quite simply: 'To make it happen.'
In the most arrogant and self-righteous way possible, I believe that there are two types of human; silver people and grey people. I believe that every human being is born grey, but laden with limitless potential. Those who never quite have the epiphany of realising the latter, remain grey. Grey people live their lives blissfully unaware of more. They think on a consistent level, live a wonderfully unextraordinary existence, but are content that way. They're born, go to school, grow up, get a job, have children, retire, have grandchildren, die. Done.
But then there are the silver people. Silver people are the artists, the creators, the great thinkers. They see life as an adventure, plunge headlong into it, squeezing every drop of life out of existence. These are the reckless, the thrill-seekers, the adventurers, the people who live every day as if it were their last, the people who have great dreams and great passions, the people who believe that they are important, and strive to leave an impact on this world. The people determined to seek the more.
I know that I have unfathomable amounts of potential to achieve greatness, just like everyone else. I know that I could achieve so much in my life, and that... is just such an overwhelming pressure. What if I continue to procrastinate and then one day realise that never will I ever now be able to do the things which I could have easily have done when I was younger? I've just turned 20, and that fear has just become a startlingly realistic possibility.
When I was about 9, my 94 year old step-great-Grandmother, (try and figure that one out) called Kitty, told me something that I will never forget. I wonder when she told me, if she knew just the profound impact it would have on me. I like to think that she did.
"I was 15," She said. "I'd had my eye on this pair of black leather boots in the shop window in town, for the whole summer. Everybody wanted a pair, but they were quite expensive, so nobody's parents would buy them for them. Now, I thought these boots were the most beautiful pair of shoes I'd ever set eyes on. There was nothing in the world I wanted more. So, I slaved away the whole of the summer, working and working, all whilst begging my parents to help me pay for these boots. Finally, at the end of the summer, my parents agreed, and together we bought the boots. How envious everyone was! I was so happy and instantly fell in love with my new shoes. But they were so beautiful and special, I wanted to treasure them. I didn't want to wear them just anywhere. So I put them in the top of my wardrobe and waited for that perfect special occasion, all whilst not wanting to wear them in the meantime in case I ruined them. When, the time finally came that I wanted to debut my new boots, I went to put them on and I couldn't get my foot inside. I'd been so determined to look after them, that I kept them away for so long that I'd grown out of them."
That is why, I decided that my first step on the path to not waking up as a grey 30 year old, is to set myself a goal with a time limit. My first goal is to create something spectacular by the age of 21, which comes at the end of 2013. Over the past year, has there been a series of extraordinary events which has concluded in me creating this blog - my first foot in the door to 'making it happen', the first step to making something spectacular. I guess 'Scarphelia' is the end of an era. It is the end of what I shall call 'The days of Silver Uncertainty.' It symbolises the past twenty years of knowing I want to do something important, to be somebody, but having no idea what to do, how to do it, or where I go next. But it is also the beginning. It is the very, very beginning of one hell of an adventure.
I refuse to remain unremarkable for any longer. Scarphelia is the log of how I'm going to become remarkable.
It's going to be pretty long journey, so in my classically melodramatic way I am going to chronologise these events which have lead to the birth of Scarphelia in a series of Acts and Scenes. So this is Act: one Scene: one. The end of the days of Silver Uncertainty, and the beginning of the rest of my life.
Welcome to Scarphelia.