Saturday, 28 March 2015

For The Faith-Keepers and Truth-Seekers: Know The World is Good


When the world is falling apart, it's the most important time to stick together
Post-adventure blues can be unrelentingly brutal.

Especially when you've returned from one of the most incredible experiences of your life, back to a world seemingly falling apart with horror and tragedy. 

As I've written many times before, being riddled with empathy is a simultaneously beautiful and unforgiving phenomena, which renders one often wishing for plain ignorance instead. The absolute peak of this for me when was when flight MH17 was shot down over Ukraine last summer, in which I wrote in detail about how it affected me here.

There's something about aviation disasters - perhaps the 'internationality' of it, it being the main way humans reach humans from other societies - that seems to slam the world into a tragic unison. It's not just about the nation where it occurs or the nationalities of those on board or involved, the whole world seems to feel the blow of the tragic loss of a plane.

This week, a dark cloud gathered around central Europe as the news broke of the sabotaged Germanwings flight. As before, the blow felt physical and raw in my soul, and flicking through the papers, all I seemed to see was death, destruction, pain and loss, like some great catalog of horror.

For someone who sings ceaselessly of unyielding positivity, there's nothing in the world more able to shatter me apart than darkness. 

But at the same time, through endless cycles of losing the fight against the bad, I've slowly but surely learnt how to combat it.

Last night at band house, I looked over at Greg and he was staring at something on his iPad, his eyes glistening. For one startled moment, I thought he might have been crying. 


"It's just... Perfect, isn't it?"

He said, turning his screen to me, and I saw what had made him so emotional.


And it made me realise; in the absence of light there is dark, but in that dark there are always people who make light again.

It doesn't matter if you are but a whisper of a melody in a raging storm, you must always keep singing. If not just to keep the music within yourself, do it for those who might just be able to hear you and join in.

So the evening after a terrible day at work having been inflicted with the weight of the world, on a last minute whim I decided to relinquish my woes with a foolproof fast food hit through the drive-through. (Clearly all about that glam blogger life.)

And waiting for the food I'd already prepared myself to instantly regret after finishing, with my window still open I heard the faint buzz of the person behind me order something which simply came to £1.98.

"Hi, thanks for waiting that'll be £3.95." Drawled the bored-looking cashier in a rehearsed tone, holding out the card-reader to me. My bleak mind suddenly sparked into life on impulse.

"I know this is weird, but... can I pay for the person's behind me too?" She looked entirely non-plussed as she combined the totals and processed my payment. But inside I felt a little giddy.

"Next window please," She gestured, "Have a nice evening."

As I proceeded, I angled my rear-view mirror with excitement as I watched the cashier explain to the unknown driver behind me that his meal was free. 

Then suddenly his car door swung open with force and a little bubble of fear rose in my chest. Oh god. Would they be mad that I'd done that? The driver strode purposefully up to my open window and before I could even say a word, reached his arms through and pulled me into a tight hug.

"Come 'ere you!" He said, voice muffled by my hair, and I laughed in utter bewilderment and joy. "Why did you do that?" The stranger pulled me to arms length, a broad smile across his gleaming face. 

"I... I don't really know..." I gushed with a smile, still a little in shock.

"Well... thank you." He said before nodding, squeezing my arm once more and returning to his vehicle, never to be seen ever again.

With my food in hand I raced home absolutely buzzing with happiness, amazed at how just one pretty tiny and irrelevant gesture had completely transformed my day, and hopefully his too. I even saw the bored-looking cashier flash me a small grin as I departed.

From that brief exchange with a stranger, I learnt something important that evening.

It doesn't matter how small, how irrelevant or seemingly pointless one little positive action may be, you have no idea the effect that can have on someone's, anyone's or even your own darkness.

The futility of our own singular actions against such grand-scale universal horror may be painfully obvious, but the only moment the hope is truly lost, is when that makes us give up trying.

We can't let the worlds darkness swallow our own little beacons, because together, those little beacons make light.


141 comments :

  1. "...being riddled with empathy is a simultaneously beautiful and unforgiving phenomena, which renders one often wishing for plain ignorance instead." I identify with this so completely, and I think you phrased it really beautifully. This is exactly why I stay away from watching the news too much. It gets to be too overwhelming for me. It's already hard enough to keep up the positivity, but when you're constantly hearing bad things, it's so easy to fall into a pit.

    The story about paying for the strangers food was so nice! I think when people do things like that, it reminds the people who witness it that there is good in the world, and that's always a good thing.

    xx Alyssa — fragments of memories

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you so much for reading Alyssa - I totally agree, the news is just full of horrors and you hardly ever hear about good things, makes me wish Russell Howard was still about! If there's anything I want to do as a media-maker is to make a happy positive place that shows all the good in the world x

      Delete
  2. What a wonderful piece of writing! I absolutely loved your story about paying for the strangers food. you're absolutely right. Your one small act of kindness could have totally flipped that mans day around. We live in such an all consuming World that life itself can become overwhelming at times. An act of kindness like yours is a powerful thing. One we're all capable of, and one we should use far more often than most of us probably do x

    ReplyDelete
  3. You type like a 13 year old who has just discovered what a thesaurus is. This is one of the most cringey things I have ever read. You act like you are some big shot celebrity deep philosopher. You are an arty-farty self-centered person who needs to stop acting like you are the center of attention. There is real "horror and tragedy" in the world, and you being "riddled in empathy" makes you sound like you're above other people.

    You are an average person, just like everybody else. Please stop acting like you are something different, it makes you very unattractive. There is nothing wrong with being an average person. It is a shame you are so obsessed with being a sort of celebrity type figure.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. If you don't like the way she writes, you don't have to comment. This is exactly what Katie is talking about - darkness appearing where the light is, and Katie is light.

      Katie doesn't act like she's a big shot, she's just writing what she is feeling and sharing her feelings with us. When people open up for the world to see, that can be very terrifying. It makes you vulnerable for negative words like yours. But there is strength in vulnerability, just like there is always light in the darkness.

      Please think about what you say before you say it. It's okay to not like a piece of writing, but let's try to not spread more negativity and hate and try to let some light in every once in awhile.

      kelseyjbarnes

      Delete
    2. If you feel that way, how about you gain some courage and come from behind your anonymous curtain? Katie brings light into all our lives and she is an excellent writer. One of the most talented I've ever witnessed. She is the least likely person to act the way you've stated. If anything she understands what it's like to be human more than anybody. Just because we can't tell who you are, it doesn't give you the right to spread unhappiness. If you don't like the post, don't comment, or at least attempt to be kind and constructive.

      Delete
    3. This comment has been removed by the author.

      Delete
    4. Katie has an art and that is to be able to think like she clearly displays in her posts. I pity that you are not even able to understand this entire process let alone go through it yourself. We live in a world full of people that go around with their lives not bothering to pay attention to the small things that tend to hide extremely deep meanings. That kind of ability is one that Katie possesses and she should be god damn proud of it. Everyone is average; one person is not above another and Katie does not project that in any of her posts in any way. Constructive criticism should be implied here instead of the hate that you are sending a beautiful soul such as Katie.

      Delete
  4. Negative comments such as the one above always remind me of something my dad once wrote. "For everyone who hates your work, there is another who loves it".

    I certainly love it, as do many others.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well obviously you also have an unbearable need to be loved
      'Give me attention!'
      'Give me attention!'

      Faux deep at it's pinnicle.

      Delete
    2. I just don't really feel the need to be negative on others work. For example, if I don't like something I don't go out of my way to criticise it in such a rude way.

      I was just simply saying although one person may not like something you create, there will still be others that do.

      Delete
  5. I love this so much Katie. My mum always taught me to do little things to help others as well and there's no greater feeling than making someones day. When we're out shopping we always try to do little good deeds, even if it means giving somebody some spare vouchers we have or buying somebody's coffee. Spread the light and everything will be brighter :)

    Jordan xx

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  6. I love your blog and all of your posts. Doing something nice and completely random for a stranger is something that I've always wanted to do and you've inspired me to run to my nearest drive thru and pay for an unsuspecting person. I love the way your words ignite passion in me, it's a gift that you should truly be thankful for :D
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