Saturday, 11 April 2015

How To Live Like A Badass pt.1 - Internal


A 3-part plan from a 3-word confession, on how to curate the most kick ass existence

(I apologise in advanced for how cheesy and self-important and a lil bit cringe this post is going to end up unavoidably being, but also urge you to acknowledge that every word of this comes from a deep and fundamental truth which I discovered for myself and feel so goddamn passionate about sharing. In essence - it sounds lame as f but it is still important as f)

 I can genuinely pinpoint the exact moment my life changed forever.

And it was around about the time I started this blog, way back in the dwindling final days of 2012.

This epiphany, comprised of just 3 simple words, was something I felt had been long in the works, as if every moment of my life before then I'd been slowly manifesting this idea, subconsciously building this foolproof plan to make sure I never ended up leading a crappy life.

And the moment my life changed, was when I finally found the strength to say those words unashamedly, casting off the countless extraneous factors - including myself - which had been deliberately trying to conceal and discourage it for so long.

And I realised as I said it, that admitting to this idea was the first step of something so, so BIG. A genuine revolution in the way I saw myself and the world - a complete overhaul in perspective that would change everything.

I watched my eyes dance in the mirror, and a sickly devilish excitement fluttered in my stomach, like a child learning a new swear word.


Slowly and purposefully, a wicked little glint in my eye, I said:

I. 

Am.

*Fucking*

Amazing.


Perhaps it was growing up alongside the internet, or a childhood laced with fantastical fiction, 'Chosen One's' and abundance of heroes to aspire toward - but I always knew I was never going to just be and just do.

And now, I had a plan to become.

The sentence held such extraordinary depth, that the air around my words genuinely felt richer almost damp and heavy with the weight of it.

The next part was realising why, and the 3 layers that comprised the statement.

These layers varied in depth and importance, but came together in perfect harmony to add the true weight and meaning of that three word statement.

The first, was the part that carried forward from my childhood, that first initial spark of an idea:


It felt naughty almost, like I'd broken some kind of rule where we're not allowed to think we are important, where we can't get away with not thinking of ourselves as shit or average. I carried that thought around with me and found it daily growing stronger, until I transcended from a thought, into knowledge. 


Now, I can see how this would seem to be a dangerous attitude for someone to have, but this was nothing to do with feeling better or more important than other people. This was certainly not 'I'm amazing and you're not.' This was a 'Holy shit, I just realised how awesome humans can be, and how awesome I could be too'. And let me tell ya - it was quite the thing to realise. Carrying this knowledge built up the momentum and I began to genuinely notice the world around me shift as my perspective began to realign. Suddenly the whole world was my playground, and from that came something stronger than thought and knowledge combined - faith.

For I felt my thought and my knowledge were always vulnerable to being tampered with or disproved by outside forces, but a belief was something that exclusively blossimed from and dwelled deep within the internal caverns of my soul, protected from anything getting in it's way. It was spiritual, this kind of ardent faith which I could never find in any religion.

Instead I found it in me.

And together, these 3 layers catalysed to form one bomb ass statemtent, declaration and one hell of a testament:


And lemme tell you, oh baby did this change EVERYTHING.

Stay tuned for Part 2 - External, coming soon.


14 comments :

  1. Can't wait to read the next post!

    Wiltedxfaded.blogspot.co.uk

    ReplyDelete
  2. Holy moly this was empowering! Looking forward to the next part :)
    Maeve // Thrift O'Clock

    ReplyDelete
  3. I've recently, as in the last 3 or 4 months, started to think I am amazing. In the same way you did, I found it almost like I was scared to think that but I realised that I had to think it in order for others to see it. I will admit, it was partially due to someone coming into my life and finally helping me to shed some demons and see myself as a person to be loved rather than hated (and since that person walked out of my life on Friday night I am somewhat struggling to retain those thoughts) but it has overall made me a lot happier.
    I'm not so sure that I know or believe it yet, but I think it. And to begin with that's good enough for me :) xo
    LJLV | UK Personal Style

    ReplyDelete
  4. Love this!! Can't wait to read the next post :)

    Lou
    naturallybeige.com
    xxx

    ReplyDelete
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