Tuesday 11 June 2013

Happy 50th Post!

Hello my beautiful little darlings,

For my 50th post, I wanted to do something a little special. As this blog has adapted and changed, and readers have joined at various points in the development process, I think the point of it, or really, what this actually is, has gotten a little lost along the way.

Therefore for my 50th post I'm going to do a massive throwback, covering everything which has been said so far, all the adventures I've been on, the lessons I've learnt and all the people I've met along the way! Click on the pink titles to read the posts :)

Scarphelia began life on the 1st January 2013, and now I think back, I'm not sure as to why it was a blog that I wanted to create. All I knew I was one girl, falling into the traps of a mundane, 9-5 dull life, but with a mind still vibrantly striving and yearning for more. I was dissatisfied. I was sick of being 'normal' and 'average' when in my head, I'd always felt like I was supposed to be so much more than that. I decided to take my fate into my own hands, once and for all. If I want to be more, that is what I was going to be.
So, I made the New Years Resolution for 2013 'To make it happen', formulated the motto 'Forever remain curious, refuse to remain unremarkable' and with it created Scarphelia.


From Humble Origins
The peak of my existential frustration came between my first and second year of University, when I'd come to the conclusion that I was going to drop out. I strongly disliked my course and had subsequently failed, and after a year, the only lesson I'd learnt, a lesson that had cost me £3000 and 365 precious days of my life, was that I had made a monstrous error in coming to University. I was at a crucial point in my life, where each and any decision I made, was going to drastically affect how the rest of my life was going to go. I felt completely trapped between the resentment of the past, and the painful mystery of the future, and the only way it was going to be resolved, was by me making a decision. Do I stay, or do I go?

Silver and Grey- This is the, albeit quite conceited, philosophy which caused me to start feeling frustrated, and is a strong current which runs through my writing. I didn't really 'come up with this', it was more of an idea based on observations, which soon became a strong anxiety of mine.

I believe that every human being is born grey, but laden with limitless potential. We all start grey. We will all stay grey. But some of choose not to. Some of us live to seek the silver in the grey.And thus becomes two very different types of people. Grey people and silver people.

This has caused some controversy, as some criticise me for claiming that grey people are either stupid, boring, bad or wrong, but this is not the case at all. If anything, grey people are the happier kind, because they have found their contentment. If anything, silver people are just those who are still ardently in search of theirs.

The Days of Silver UncertaintyAny time before that crossroads point in my life, I refer to as 'The Days Of Silver Uncertainty.' This ranged from being a child and being discouraged to follow my dreams for a more realistic route, from being rejected from countless auditions and casting calls when I tried to pursue my dreams independently, and right up to my first year of University.The whole time in which I'd passionately dissatisfied with the direction in which my life was headed, and unbearably grey.

Becoming Silver - The first time I ever got a taste of what silver life was like, was when, by chance of a very cheeky email, I managed to get invited to a novel launch in the Jean Paul Gaultier flagship store in Chelsea, London. That was when I saw, clear as day in front of my very own eyes, the life I'd always wanted, the silver, and the life I was letting happen to me, the grey. And the seeds of change began to take route in my mind as I decided that actually, the choice was mine. This was also, when I first discovered that taking chances and being cheeky, can get you to very incredible places in life.

The Interesting Boys - When I made the decision to return to University, I was terrified I was going to slip back into the same grey existence I'd lived in my first year. But Lady Fate was on my side, and I met three of the most incredible people on the very first night back there, who would go on to change my life forever. These boys will never know the depth of the impact they have had on my life, and my way of thinking, especially Jasper, and it was painful, recently when I had to see them leave to graduate. And with meeting them, I felt the last traces of my previous grey existence slip away, and the silver future was ready to be mine.

Love & Dating

I guess I have pretty unconventional views on love. I am currently single, and could not think of anything more terrifying, inconvenient or downright unfortunate than falling in love and being in a relationship right now.

I've always been  hopeless romantic, so this came as a true change to me, but this is the first time in my life where I have said this, and truly had conviction in it. I am happy as it is. Although, perhaps, it is because I don't think I could ever love someone as much as I love myself. 

Valentines Day -  I first discuss my views on love here, and marvel at the surprise of receiving a bouquet of flowers on my doorstep on Valentine's Day, with a card signed off from an elusive and mysterious 'Gentleman J'...

Losing a Dear Friend to Love - As I started the year, I fell into a beautiful and complex friendship with a boy which I became very close to, and he soon became my best friend. That was, until, he got into a relationship and I lost a great friend forever, further reinforcing my negative viewpoint of relationships at this age.

Why You Should Date Yourself - A big part of being single, for me, is loving being alone and doing things by myself. It took time to pluck up the courage to do, but once you start 'dating yourself' and really taking time to appreciate who you are, then it opens up a whole world of enlightenment, which you rarely see when you are preoccupied with someone else. The things you notice when you are alone is something I also discuss in this blog post here.

The Girl Who Taught Me To Love -  Meeting up with a girl from The Netherlands and having a chat about life and love, from a different persons perspective from a completely different culture, totally surprised me, and made me realise some quite profound things about myself, my past, my views on love and why you should learn to let go of grudges.

Lessons From a Past Me - Finding a journal entry I'd made when I was falling in love with someone, that taught present me a valuable lesson about love. "It doesn't matter how long you go without being ignited by another person, it will happen again, often when you least expect it. And no doubt, bigger and better than any time before..."

Life & Love Are The Same Thing -  Whilst out on a walk, I accidentally stumble across a graveyard in a forest, and after walking around and thinking for a little bit, I realised something amazing. Life and love, are the same thing. 

Fate & Strangersim

A lot of my stories involve bizarre little twists of fate, to the point in which it almost seems impossible. A lot of people say to me 'But things like that just don't happen in real life' when I tell them my stories, but I believe it does, if you decide to make it. Luck, is in the same vein as being silver. If you want to make it happen, then you decide upon it, and it will.

'Strangerism' is a concept that was born out of the spirit of making luck happen by not being afraid to take chances and risks, and was spurned on by the magnificent ambiguity of a stranger. Strangerism has become such a big part of my life and what I do, that I have given it its own page which you can read about here.

The Boy At The Music Festival - The first time I ever indulged in what I now call 'Strangerism'. I was at a music festival in London on a Saturday having bought tickets out of spite of the Sunday being completely sold out, took a chance and spoke to a boy, only to discover he was the only person in the world who had a spare ticket for the Sunday, as his Father ran the event. And so together, two strangers, we met the very next day and went.

The Boy With The Stickers - As a marketing ploy to reach a further audience with my blog, I'd had some QR code stickers made up so I could stick them everywhere I went to encourage people to scan and have a read of my blog. The day after I got them made up, I went to the campus pub with The Interesting Boys and  got talking to a boy. Caught in the spirit of excitement, I told him all about Scarphelia and my big plans for the future, sticking stickers all over his arms. Only to discover, the very next day, he was someone a lot more important than I could've imagined...

The Boy At The Conference - This was more fate than Strangerism. At the start of February, our house was robbed, and among the things stolen was my laptop. It was horrible and I felt completely violated. Anyway, after discovering the identity of Gentleman J, the guy who sent me the Valentine's Day gifts, I had lunch with him on campus. While we were chatting, a leaflet fell out of my notepad for a conference that was free, and being held on campus in an hour's time. In the spirit of taking chances, we both went. At the end of the conference they announced there was a prize draw, in which everyone in attendance had the chance to win a new iPad. I turned to Gentleman J and said,  "Wouldn't it be funny if it was me who won the iPad, two days after my laptop got stolen?"....

The Boy On The Underground - This has to be my absolute favourite of all stories of Strangerism, and the story in which I finalised what it actually is. On the way to the theatre to see a play written by my best friend which was being performed in Greenwich (ironically a play about the importance and mystery of strangers and the stories in which they may hold), I accidentally knocked into a boy on the London Underground and started giggling to myself. After three tube changes, we realised we were headed in the same direction and started talking... Only to end up going on the most amazing adventure around the city together, resulting in me not getting in until 7am the next day.

This story is quite long so comes in two parts, Part 1, and Part 2.


Often, adventures seem to tie in with Fate & Strangerism, but sometimes they are just outright adventures within themselves, which require their own category. Adventure is another big part of my life, most in part, because I am just so damned curious.

Dating a Celebrity - This is another one of my favourite stories, like, ever. As I'm sure you can imagine. 'The Tales of Mr X' explains how last summer, I asked a celebrity on a date over Twitter out of pure chance and moderate humour, and we actually ended up going on two dates, one in Brighton and one in London. I suppose this falls under the categories of love and fate too.

This story also comes in two parts for the two dates, Part 1 and Part 2.

Poland With The Interesting Boys -  As I mentioned before, it was a chance friendship (or as I like to think, Fate) which bought us together, but they will never truly appreciate the depth of the impact they have had on me, and the lessons they have taught me just by being. This is a tale of true, reckless spontaneity, how me and The Interesting Boys said 'screw it', booked flights and ran away to Poland for 48 hours.

Hanging With Celebs at Google HQ - This is another story that would probably fall under Fate & Strangerism too. After contacting celeb blogger Zoe Griffin saying I'd bought her book and seeking some advice on blogging, she asked if I'd mind stepping in for an intern of hers, and working as a cocktail waitress for £20/hour at her novel launch at Google Headquarters, where I got the number of a German Supermodel and had the biggest Literary Agent in Europe hand me his business card.

This story also comes in two parts, Part 1, and Part 2.

The Wonder Crew - My new favourite group of people ever. The friends of my best friend at Uni's older brother, this group of outrageously successful and beautiful city bankers know how to party. First ever instance of adventuring with a member of The Wonder Crew is also mentioned in this post here.

Career & Future

Often, the future seems like the most exciting and the most terrifying prospect in the entire universe, and so I muse upon it a lot. I don't really know what I want to do or where exactly I want to go with my life, all I know is I want to give people a reason to remember my name, and I want to be happy. Social Media, Journalism and Blogging are sorta my thing, so that would be pretty darned good too.

My Perfect Future - The City seems like the place I need to be. It's addictive. Whether it be Paris, New York or London, I just feel like every time I am in The City, I feel like I am one step closer to being successful. This is how I imagine my dream home in The City when I am a bit older. 

Blogging Masterclass - After two months blogging I was asked to host a Blogging Masterclass at my University on behalf of The Entrepreneurs Society, which was unbelievably terrifying but completely gratifying as I got some amazing feedback and it all went according to plan!

Making the Dream Future a  Present Reality - After thinking for some time about how ardently I want the life I detailed in the above post, I got together with my closest friends and we decided to make a 3-year plan to make it a reality. Also regales attending a proper Careers Masterclass held by Cosmopolitan Magazine.

Applying For Your Dream Job With Cake - This was the most recent and exciting development on my journey to the silver future, how I managed to blag myself an internship at Cosmopolitan Magazine by applying for a job via cupcake. Will be blogging further upon this very soon!

Philosophy & Thoughts

Definitely going to be my largest category so I shall try to condense! I feel a bit of a fraud labelling some of these as 'Philosophy' having never studied it before, but I can't think of any other way of describing them, apart from 'shit that I think up sometimes.'

Why Miss Out? - "You were born into this world alone, and you will leave this world alone, so why miss out in everything in between, just because someone won't come with you?" A first insight into the philosophy behind 'Why You Should Date Yourself'.

The Darkest of Days - An intensely personal post, about coming back from severe depression and the brink of suicide.

You Are Amazing - Why the world would be a better place if everyone realised that they are amazing.

Selfish and Proud - Why I put my hands up and fully admit to being selfish, but why that should never, ever be regarded as a bad thing. 

Why I hate the things I like - Why sometimes I find it impossible to listen to music, and actively avoid things I know I will like.

The Beauty of Other People - "When your days are up on this planet, what will your possessions, your money, your looks have really meant? You will be remembered for the things you do and the things you create, a lasting legacy that you can leave behind. And the beautiful thing is that it doesn't have to be alone. The real beauty comes from the combined creativity of multiple human minds who can create something spectacular, and they can be the minds of the most unexpected people." 

The 'Cloud Atlas' Epiphany - This post is dense and complex, but provided such clarity to me when I wrote it, that  do believe it is one of my best. This post focuses on the influence of others, the film 'Cloud Atlas', how fate, life and death are intertwined, some very unexpected interactions from some wonderful people, and how, as humans, we are naturally a culmination of everyone who has ever been before us.

Phasing - Trying to describe this weird thing in which I have subconsciously found myself doing, where in periods of 3 to 4 months or so, I'd deliberately only listen to one album on repeat, only wear a certain perfume, do my hair and makeup in a certain way, eat and drink particular foods, and then in a few months change all that completely, in order to remember periods of my life with more clarity.

Phasing is also featured in this post right here. 

How To Deal With a Family Funeral - Caught between not feeling strong enough mentally to attend a family funeral and wanting to be there for your family. Ultimately, why it is unacceptable to miss a funeral.

This post is quite long so comes in two parts, Part 1 and Part 2.

Summer Makes Rebels of Us All -  Why everyone seems happier when the sun comes out, and why little things which seem so fundamentally important right now, in the grand scheme of things, will be but a speck of a concern to you in the future. 

10 Things To Make More Time For - More of a personal Philosophy, just things I'd like to make more time for over Summer, now that University has finished.

Why Life & Love are the same thing - Whilst out on a walk, I accidentally stumble across a graveyard in a forest, and after walking around and thinking for a little bit, I realised something amazing. Life and love, are the same thing. Also mentioned in the love and dating section, but I think it belongs here too. 

Burn Your Belongings - The catharsis and peace which can be found from burning all your old stuff, to start the next chapter of your life with a clean slate and nothing holding you back. 

Pining For The Past Yet So Eager For The Future - At the end of an amazing year at University, when previously I was going to drop out completely, I muse upon why its hard to let go of the most amazing memories, yet it is something you must do.

And That is it!

If you made it this far I am in awe and gratitude - I hadn't quite realised just how much I'd written myself.

I hope you have enjoyed reading thus far,

and there will be much more to come from me.

Thank you for reading :)